Checking Out

It is with such sweet sorrow I write these words. Last week my father-in-law checked out of his mortal vessel. His body could no longer contain his light and he was born again into the celestial love from where we all once came.

Being witness to somebody’s last moments in their physical form is deeply heart-breaking, and at the same time, incredibly beautiful.
Watching our little angels kiss their ‘Opa’ goodbye broke open our hearts in a way that is immeasurable. Looking at the hurt and confusion in those innocent eyes is something I will carry forever, allowing it to discover new depths of compassion within me.

We pull no punches with our kids.. We’ve always been absolutely honest with them (within reason) and felt no different here. We told them straight. Opa’s body no longer works and so he goes back into the love of which you are.
He journeys back into the stars that watch over you, he saddles the mountains that hold you, he rides the seas waves that you splash in - and his shining light dances with the sun so you may always be warmed by the love he has for you. And oh what love.
Then we cry together. Looking at each other with fresh eyes, watered with wisdom, in true source recognition.

Such terrific sadness, such deep pain for the loss of a man who had so much left to give, who at 65 years young, has left far too early.
The wound of grief is still very raw. The loss of someone we hold so close brings with it feelings of anger and hopelessness about our own very temporary life.
And yet, yet – something stirs within the deeper wisdom of us and we understand life with even greater meaning.

For death in truth is a gift.

Buried in the heartbreak is a profound and poetic paradox. If we choose to face the pain, to allow it to break us into pieces, to burn us to the ground, from the astral ashes rises this giant, philosophical phoenix, ready to hand it all over and start to fucking live.

Live as if our lives depend on it - because they do. Live without restraint. Live with wonder. Live without giving a flying fuck what people think.

For death shows us the abstract absurdity of life and at the same time gifts life more value than we’ve ever known. Releasing us from shackles of the finite so we may remember to fly again.
This life is a divine gift of such intense beauty it is a miracle that we can embody it all.
But we do and we should be thankful every day for the opportunity to feel the absolute explosion of cosmic expression that we are.

Death teaches us to live. So what are you waiting for?..